You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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