did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you have to choose: penises or morals?
birth control should be required to get into college
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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