hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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