I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
this boner is exhausting
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
