I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
