Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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