So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
