I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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