it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
