So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
