I hope mine doesn't look like that
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
