I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
