is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
