shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Soap is not a condiment
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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