what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He shit in the fireplace
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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