Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
