where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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