Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
this will be a night to untag.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
PANTIES FOUND
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