Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
