Moan for me like Helen Keller
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
