After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
