9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
