Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
