she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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