There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
There r osticjed everywhere
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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