it was like eating out sand paper
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
