last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
