I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
