i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
