Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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