when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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