these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I think my moral compass just broke
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
