all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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