A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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