Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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