they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
