You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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