why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
