I want to stick my p in your. b.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
pop tarts are not kleenex
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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