Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
