I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
