Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
