we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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