yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
