come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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