I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
