There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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