I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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