my sisters under your porch take her home
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
