I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
