Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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