Who wears a wallet chain?!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Did I show you my penis last night?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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