I think I died a long time ago.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
All the doctor said was why
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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