like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
